For many single parents, dating is exciting and scary at the same time.On one hand, you can hardly contain your enthusiasm for your new love interest.Knowing that I was moving back to a small town after years of living in cities, I looked at my therapist and said: "I can't date someone who has children. And while I was in love with both the man and the kid, I was totally lost. There is nothing wrong with single or divorced parents. But my friends back home in the small town I was moving back to? He had a son with his ex-girlfriend, who I also remember from my past. I was in a relationship with a man who had a 10-year-old son. I was 29 years old, and the majority of my friends in Chicago were childless or childfree, whichever term you prefer. I knew that by moving back here, I was inviting many children into my day-to-day life -- and probably my love life, too. Despite all of my fears, I reconnected with this man from my youth.It turns out there is very little literature on how to date someone who has children. After running into him over a period of months, we began dating.Overnight, I was thrown into a brave, new world -- one that involved a tween.You might have a really fun time with your nephew at Christmas, but this isn't the same as cleaning up vomit at 3 a.m. Planning time for mascara is hard enough; popular culture becomes the Great White Buffalo.
Take from it what you will: Wait Even though my boyfriend was eager to introduce me to his kiddo early on, we waited a long time before it actually happened.
With that being said, let’s discuss his absolute asinine reasons for not dating single moms. I’ve seen plenty of men share this blog post, saying “wow, so true!
But the fact of the matter remains that the kids are here, and they need to be cared for. I don’t expect anyone to run up and save me, because as far as I’m concerned, I can save myself, thank you very much. We all don’t need captains for our boats, we’re not all sinking. Once again, that sky- is-always-falling-so-she-can-have-attention type of woman is like that with or without kids. Apparently we all just want to use a guy to get our child’s father back or to just get free meals and gifts. He brought an airport carousel full of luggage to saddle one group of women with, but apparently we’re the ones with magazine amounts of issues. James seems to associate a horrible pathetic, pitiful, unattractive, and fat life for single mothers.
I scoured the Internet for advice about dating people with kids. I got the same advice from multiple people: "Be yourself." OK, what next? We were on and off, and it wasn't the healthiest relationship I've ever been in.
The only books I could find were about step-parenting. Considering the divorce rate in this country, I thought finding the advice would be easy. *crickets* My relationship with this man continued for... But I did learn a LOT about the kiddos and how to deal with them.